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saraholano

surprise yourself
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feeling a bit inspired by Cradle of Filth lyrics... its like reading gothic Shakespearean literature
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Still blurry

2 min read
... personal stuff. Been looking for answers...

"When you're born a light is switched on, a light which shines up through your life. As you get older the light still reaches you, sparkling as it comes up through your memories. And if you're lucky as you travel forward through time, you'll bring the whole of yourself along with you, gathering your skirts and leaving nothing behind, nothing to obscure the light. But if a Bad Thing happens part of you is seared into place, and trapped for ever at that time. The rest of you moves onward, dealing with all the todays and tomorrows, but something, some part of you, is left behind. That part blocks the light, colours the rest of your life, but worse than that, it's alive. Trapped for ever at that moment, and alone in the dark, that part of you is still alive."
― Michael Marshall Smith, Only Forward


"PTSD is a whole-body tragedy, an integral human event of enormous proportions with massive repercussions."
― Susan Pease Banitt

"The trauma said, 'Don't write these poems.
Nobody wants to hear you cry about the grief inside your bones."

― Andrea Gibson, The Madness Vase

"God has mercifully ordered that the human brain works slowly; first the blow, hours afterwards the bruise."
― Walter de la Mare, The Return

"There are edges around the black and every now and then a flash of color streaks out of the gray. But I can never really grasp any of the slivers of memories that emerge."
― Katie McGarry, Pushing the Limits

"Often it isn't the initiating trauma that creates seemingly insurmountable pain, but the lack of support after."
― S. Kelley Harrell, Gift of the Dreamtime - Reader's Companion

"Some people's lives seem to flow in a narrative; mine had many stops and starts. That's what trauma does. It interrupts the plot. You can't process it because it doesn't fit with what came before or what comes afterwards."
― Jessica Stern

"I won't let that night ruin you forever." But it did, it broke me into a million pieces and blew them away in the wind, like crumbled leaves."
― Jessica Sorensen
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Signal No. 3

1 min read
I'm at Imperial Palace Hotel right now, from Rembrandt Hotel, where we stayed since friday til this morning. I love Timog, Tomas Morato, this area. Anyway, I will start uploading photos again 2 weeks from now, since im still pretty busy with something at the moment.
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How awful it is when you're walking alone, at the mall, and you remember something funny, suddenly, and trying to control yourself from laughing out loud is as painful as trying to hold your bladder. Ugh! Happened to me countless times this month, and boy, i wanted to hide under a table from shame.
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Lost in Heels

2 min read
I am just overcoming the shock of it i guess...

Yesterday, I got lost. In the woods in the middle of a mountain. And i was wearing heels.

I went location scouting for my thesis alone... and, at first, it was rewarding. But finding my way back down was torture...

I'd decided to follow the road less traveled, a road i never knew existed... and it was fun. But i got lost. What did i discover? There was a secret village in the middle of the looooooooooong mountain trail back down...

I was able to get a nod from the villagers, when i asked if they could allow me to shoot my thesis film there on March... and have their kids enter my frame as extras...

They said yes. At least, the mothers did.

I later found out that they were Muslims. It was a Muslim community I'd stumbled upon. And i was wearing a muslim outfit, head gear and all, because i cannot expose myself to the sun this week... <-- dermatologist's orders.

Ignorance is bliss! Or i might've acted real nervous. And guilty. Pretending out of necessity...

Unfortunately, my dad is shaking his head to that now...

So my tiresome location scouting yesterday was useless, because he doesnt want me getting involved in a, ummm.... in something probably dangerous. Even fatal. He reminded me that I'm in Mindanao.

So we'll shoot in Bukidnon... where we'll have 'safer' arrangements, because they have control over several communities there, and he can have the mayor of some Bukidnon towns/whatever moving mountains for me. I guess thats a huge relief after all because... well... daddy's gonna do the location scouting work for me...
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Devious Journal Entry by saraholano, journal

Still blurry by saraholano, journal

Signal No. 3 by saraholano, journal

Where is My Mind? by saraholano, journal

Lost in Heels by saraholano, journal